i'm sorry i haven't a clue best jokes

I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue Box Set Of 6 CD's Used. These days, we only really know Colin for his work at the piano, but as a young lad he cut his teeth on the harmonica until his teacher explained that he wasn't supposed to chew it. Chairman Humphrey Lyttelton ensuring that disorder prevails. Read about our approach to external linking. This evening she has an expert beekeeper coming round to show her a few tricks of the trade, and he says he'll quickly have her 38 bees out and flying round his head." ", "Oh wait a minute, I've goofed. Quotations that certain celebrities would be most unlikely ever to say: Neil Kinnock To cut a long story short Jerry Springer Your private life is no concern of mine, David Attenborough No, pass me the BIG gun, John Humphrys No, no, please finish your point. Yours faithfully, Mrs Trellis. That's not to say he wasn't the complete professional, but he didn't need to prove anything. Yes. Back in the day I seem to remember hearing one of the team saying that when Humphrey passed on (for he was the oldest) they'd end the programme as a mark of respect, and also on the basis that no-one could replace Lyttleton. Still, it was during one of those famous comradely Cryer phone calls of which we have all heard so much that the roots of The Clue Bible, my first weighty slab, covering over 50 years of British comedy history, first found soil.Back in the mid-2000s, I was a veteran videogame journalist who in my spare time performed sketches in a double act, and tried to get my children's stories published. 30 of the best jokes about Theresa May Actually, listeners will be impressed to learn that back in the 60's, Colin asked Mick Jagger and Keith Richard if he could take the place of Brian Jones. ", "Teams, to accompany you, I'm sure you'd all like to welcome our brand new pianistbut until he's provided, we'll just have to make do with our old one Colin Sell. ", "This musical lament will be accompanied by Colin Selland music doesn't come more lamentable than that. The programme was first aired on April 11th1972 and the signature tune Samantha says he's keen to lay her up in the Orkneys", "Samantha has to nip out now to spend time with her new gentleman friend. The manageress at Dorothy Perkin's says if she catches him in there again, she'll call the police. Jack Dee chairs the 76th series of the show. I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue is just a small part of BBC Radio 4's long proud history of gentle comedy with added smut. This wasn't an act - he really couldn't have cared less. Incidentally, new listeners to the programme may be interested to know that Colin Sell was a member of several pop groups in the 60's and 70's, some of which became quite well known after he'd left them. Yours sincerely, Mrs. Trellis, Dear Womans Hour: Why waste money on baby-naming books when all the names you need can be found in the telephone directory? And at the Naturistss Ball, please welcome, if you will: Mr and Mrs Gleebits and their son, Dan, From Poland, Mr and Mrs Vestov and their very keen daughter, Eva, The Right Honorable Mr Knott-Snowing and his lovely daughter, Gladys. Sometimes he would even read the stage directions. Free shipping for many products! I said were gonna invade Tie Rack. Im Sorry I Havent a Clue is greatest radio comedy, says panel, Original reporting and incisive analysis, direct from the Guardian every morning, 2023 Guardian News & Media Limited or its affiliated companies. So says John Lloyd, brains behind Blackadder, QI, Spitting Image, and so much besides - all shows with a massive debt to I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again and I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue. He became quite frail towards the end and it was obvious he was frustrated by his own body giving up on him. ", "Dear Mrs McCartney: My, what a terrible mess. Colin was telling us that he recently wrote a Horn Concerto for two Cornets. But I think there was also a sense that, as Humph was saying this stuff, it couldnt possibly be as rude as it sounded because he was so respectable.. Eventually, the nuns of Beverley convent rose in revolt, and laid seige to Hull. 50 of the best lines from Peep Show Any chance of a signed photo for my grandson Dyno-Rod Emergency Hotline Trellis?, Dear Mr. Gadaffi, You must be very proud. "Dear Mrs Lawley, Here's an idea: How about a celebrity version of 'Desert Island Disks'? Dear I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue Mailing List Member. What do you think? However, it wasn't until 1993 that she started becoming the butt of increasingly risque jokes. "Psycho Killer" to the tune of "Save Your Love" (Linda Smith) 34. In this game, the teams imagine what effect certain letters might have had on history, had they not gone missing: Dear Dr Guillotine, We shall be pleased to grant a licence for your automated haircutting device just as soon as youve addressed one or two safety issues weve identified. Following reports that BBC Radio 4 considered toning down I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue because of complaints over the smutty jokes, here are some of the show's dirty innuendos from four years of broadcasting. All rights reserved. They said yes, and threw him in the swimming pool. 30 of the best-ever jokes about Scotland from Scotland, 29 best Gavin and Stacey quotes and funniest jokes from James Corden and Ruth Jones comedy Let's move on. Derry Girls: 35 of the funniest quotes and one-liners Indeed, he often said he wanted to drive between gigs in a tradesman's van with "Humphrey Lyttelton: Purveyor of Blue-Chip Filth" written on its sides. This worried Henry VIII, who sent a heavily armed force immediately he heard the town was being terrorised by the Beverley sisters. In the modern world this is known as the Daily Mail. One of the series other crucial personnel is Colin Sell the resident pianist since being recruited as a student in 1975. While she's very keen on his kidneys in red wine and his oxtail in beer, Samantha says it's difficult to beat his famous tongue in cider." She's going to meet him at the monkey house, where he's often found swinging about with his charges. ", "Actually, it's been said that one has more chance of being struck by lightning than meeting a piano player like Colin Sell which is why we all spent most of last week standing out in the rain holding metal rods. 25 of Peter Kays most ingenious jokes and one-liners " the man who put the C into rap music Colin Sell! I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue: smuttiest jokes. ISIHAC TOUR Stars In Their Ears Clue regulars Graeme Garden, Barry Cryer, Tim Brooke-Taylor, Jeremy Hardy and esteemed Chairman Humphrey Lyttelton play agame called Stars In Their Ears on the I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue 'best of' theatre tour. ", "Now listeners will be surprised to hear that pop legend Cliff Richard once insisted that Colin played in The Shadows but then, he's not a pretty sight in broad daylight. ", "Accompaniment here will be provided by Colin Sell at the piano. This is the game where the team are presented with the first half of memorable quotations to finish off: Twas brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe. ", "Piano accompaniment will be provided by Colin Sell, a man who doesn't know the meaning of "disharmony". ", "The city (Leeds) has connections with many famous people. Deadpan comedian Jack . Can you tell me where the expression 'Dull as Ditch Water' comes from? Innuendo, tone-deaf singing and dreadful wages: as the cherished BBC panel game celebrates its half century, we look back at its finest moments and its future. Its an approach that has captured in the shows single most celebrated one-liner. Hosted by Humphrey Lyttelton, and originally played by Barry Cryer, Tim Brooke-Taylor, Graeme Garden, Willie Rushton, a range of guests have performed on the programme's panel since it began. In which the panel translate the true meaning of that ignoble professions favourite soundbites: As the Honourable Member is perfectly aware, I have nothing to hide You bastard, how did you find out? ", While Samantha nips over to Prague for a quick check-up". 38 of the most darkly funny League of Gentlemen quotes Well loved celebrities include Alan Bennett and Barry Cryer. You can imagine how things were livened up in that turkey abbatoir. Moment commuter blasts eco-zealots, Moment bull suffers catastrophic injuries after leaping from bridge, Russian freight train derails and bursts into flames after explosion, Royal superfans camping on The Mall ahead of King's Coronation, Historic chairs to be reused by the King for the coronation service, Women's rights activists and pro-trans campaigners separated, Saboteurs wreck Russian train cut power cables 37mi from Ukraine, Cambridge students party in the park during annual celebrations, Devastating tornado picks up car and hurls it through air in Florida, Student kicked out of school for 'there are only two genders' t-shirt, Unseen footage of Meghan Markle during her teenage years, Hundreds of Household Division members rehearse for coronation. Arent they a bunch of bastards, all that finger up the arsehole, all day long. I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue is greatest radio comedy, says panel Read more For his first 17 years as producer, says Naismith, he "was the only one to hear the show before it went out".. Approaching what would have been his 87th birthday, he told an audience in Eastbourne: "It makes a nice change to be one of the youngest people in the room.". Alternative definitions for some familiar English words: Macaroon To leave a Scotsman on a desert island, Mishmash What Sean Connery will do if he doesnt get to church on Sunday, Pantomime Underwear for the hard of hearing, Pastiche What Sean Connery eats in Cornwall, Pomegranate Australian for a Englishman made of stone, Reindeer A Michael Winner weather prediction, Scruple Cross between a screw top and a ring pull, Tenure How they describe a decade in the West Country, Testicle A boat makers first attempt at a coracle, Toll Where you try to put the ball in on a Yorkshire golf course, Truculent That lorry you used to rent out, Warehouse A person who turns into a house at the Full Moon, Wince A setting on Jonathan Rosss washing machine, The comments below have not been moderated, By ", "We call the next game Word for Word; it's a word game. 50 of Jimmy Carrs funniest jokes and one-liners 39 of the greatest Brass Eye and Day Today quotes 26 of Sara Pascoes funniest jokes and quotes Oh no, hang on, that's Facebook. . . P.S. The main difference was that, as a panel game, they didn't need to write any . Red Dwarf: 30 of the funniest quotes and one-liners Producers Paul Mayhew-Archer (1982-86) and Jon Naismith showrunner since 1991 are generally credited with making Clue a super-format by introducing tight scripts that were a trampoline for ad-libs. Is there a farm shop?, My locals rough as anything. Apparently, they've been working on the restoration of an old chest of drawers. I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue is a BBC radio comedy panel game. ", "Musical accompaniment will be provided by Colin Sell, who tells me he's thinking of branching out into artist management. ", "The area has become even more of a tourist attraction. Item Information. 35 of the funniest jokes by Northern comedians Will Somebody Shut Those Bloody Lambs Up? "Dear David Dickinson, I can sum up why the BBC have your programme on TV every night in three words: Cheap As Chips. Here are 10 of the funniest jokes written by kids "Dear Mr Titchmarsh: This morning I went out to dig up some dandelions and a giant hogweed on my lawn. 16 of Barry Chuckles greatest jokes 70. Do hope you havent embarked on another career. ", (After Jeremy Hardy has sung in a round of Pick up Song) "That wasn't even the same track. Eventually we had to call Barrys son to call Barrys wife and tell him to put his headphones back on., Having got through a pandemic, the show may yet survive, in some form, an even greater global catastrophe. Recorded in 2008 at The Lowry in Salford. I could hear the cheeky glint in his eye. 100 of the best jokes for kids that are actually funny ", "You know, I was interested to learn recently that Colin doesn't just play the piano, in fact I have a letter here that says he's recently become very handy on the sax and that's signed by the Haringey Council Waste Disposal Department. 20:57 EDT 23 Sep 2012 She tells me she's got a man coming round who's keen to inspect her . It would have been more, but the chain kept falling off his bike. This houses a fine collection of vintage aircraft including the Vickers Boxkite biplane, which one Bert Hinkler flew here in 1921. Dear Herr Hitler, Sorry for taking a while to get back to you. That was generally the case - except when I had the luxury of Humph's voice in my head. "When I'm Cleaning Windows" to the tune of "Walking in the Air" (Graeme Garden) 33. I hate people who think its clever to take drugs like custom officers. to the best of my recollection. Or: " the title will be provided by the technical wizardry of the multi-pixelated laser display screen. Graeme Garden, who devised the show, is surprised by its longevity. Together they form a body of work stretching across five decades, from Cambridge in 1960 to today's world-beating Antidote to Panel Games, a laughter-bringer . She says she can't wait to get home and handle her new Phillips upright. But we wouldnt get the repeat fees., 50 Years Without a Clue is on Radio 4 and BBC Sounds on 16 April at 8p. 100 of the funniest short jokes that will have you laughing in seconds The chair seems equally desperate to be elsewhere, although he is now Jack Dee. But then the BBC got in touch with Jon Naismith, remembers Sell, and said emails were flooding in from listeners who needed it back.. He would delight in stopping, mid-performance, to announce that when he was supposed to say "genteel", for example, the script said "gentile". ", "We've asked Colin Sell to provide piano accompaniment. Barry Cryer, Graeme Garden, Tim Brooke-taylor, Jack Dee Et Al 75 of Billy Connollys best jokes, one-liners and quips This page was last edited on 1 February 2023, at 00:16. Wordplay and innuendo are a large part of the show's humour. Yours, Mrs. Trellis. Panel Game (according to the introduction, "the antidote to panel games") broadcast on BBC Radio 4 and the "classic radio" station BBC 7. 25 of Dara Briains best jokes and funniest quotes ", "Actually, we were all very impressed to learn that Colin once played alongside Roy Orbison. Enforced Holiday. ", "Backing will be provided, as ever, by Colin Sell at the piano. He also has problems with the words "stop", "that", "dreadful" and "racket". ISIHAC NEWSLETTER. Sometimes I wondered if producer Jon Naismith and I took too much advantage of his easygoing insouciance. 30 of Jack Whitehalls funniest jokes They put a uniform on, for a job like that, can you imagine doing that? I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue (2008 TV Movie) Humphrey Lyttelton: Self - Host Showing all 17 items Jump to: Quotes (17) Quotes Humphrey Lyttelton : Incidentally, Colin's piano playing is widely believed by faith healers to hold miraculous powers. By It preserves the soul from desiccation. No radio show has aided that cause greater than Im Sorry I Havent A Clue, the much-loved panel show that Lyttelton (right) chaired until his death four years ago.

Powerapps Data Table Not Showing All Data, How Did Shelby's Pirate Ship Sink, Articles I